hanging on. vs. letting go.

guess i'm just living in the past. now forever alone. no one telling me it's okay, i can pull through, no one comforting, no one listening, no one telling. i just fucking wish you are here with me, but i guess things change and looking at you, it's just the past, no longer the present. because in the present, we are just two strangers, just happen to me standing close each other. where are all the memories? where are the times that we are together? it only became memories. and memories only linger in my heart and mind, not the fact, neither the reality, nor the truth.

i always tell myself it happened long ago, you have moved on and i should. yes i tell myself that i'm moving on, i need to. but who in the fucking world says that when its in the past, it can never be brought into the present? i just wish you are here, want you to be here. be it love or just friends, why can't we just talk to each other once again?

i hurt you, and i should just leave. but who can ever walk out of it? getting wasted is just the way im doing now. day by day..

every single things that i'm taught not to do when i grow up, im doing every single of it. just how things work now.

when life start to get not that busy and slow down, thinking starts back once again. not that young, not that old. but still, what I want? And when i've got nothing on my mind to plan and think about, you appeared again. sorry, but I guess. no one can find back the 'us' in the past. you are the first and I guess I won't hurt anyone else anymore. I'm not ready. I just wish someone can listen to me, there's always someone to hang out with, someone to scold me, someone to tell me it's okay, it's wrong, you did great. someone to hug me. I guess, no more. you no longer here and everything change. I'm still living, but sometimes I wake up, I still hope and wish you are still mine.

isn't right to be thinking about you now, as far as i know, it's been very very long time since we felt the mutual way towards each other. i know if it's true love, shouldn't be letting it go, but i guess, i'm really... no choice? the last way of getting to know about you already gone. and i doubt i will do the same anymore. and i have to tell myself, if we are meant to be together, we will, after few months or years if we ever met again. i guess, for now, i should really ignore my heart and my feelings.

knowing you was fate, loving you is bliss, but leaving you, ...

run away from me and i won't chase you. i will only stand still there and watch. be it crying inside or outside or just ignoring the emotions.

if some things can't be forgotten, it need to be ignored.

totally no more links with you and you anymore. goodbye, my love.